What would you do to better your life?
This is a difficult one. I am on this path right now. As I stated before I am a single mom. This is new to me. I am starting over. I need to learn how to take care of myself and my son.(financially that is) I also need to be happy doing it. If I am not happy Josh won't be either. He deserves a happy mom. He deserves me at my best.
I had been in serious relationships since I was 14 years old. When I was 24 I found myself alone. I realized during this time that I didn't know who I was. I wasn't even sure what kind of music I liked. I had allowed these relationships to take over my life. I decided I wanted to know myself. I wanted to know who I was as a singular person and not as a couple. In October 1998 I decided to swear of men. I wouldn't even casually date. This lasted for 2 years.
It was one of the best times of my life. I was introduced to myself for the first time. I learned what kind of music I liked. I also got to figure out what I wanted to do for me. I had a good job. I started back to school. I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. I loved my life. Most importantly I loved myself.
When the time came I met someone new, and we had a nice relationship for several months. I was strong and I didn't need him to define me, so when things felt wrong to me I was okay with being on my own again. This was a huge step for me. Before I would hold on to relationships that weren't working, because I was scared to be alone. I discovered a new strength I never knew I had.
Now, back to the present. I have to redefine myself with my child. It isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Josh has doctor and therapy appointments almost weekly. I can't find a daycare that will take him after school. To be honest even if I could I'm not sure if I would send him anyway. I don't have anything against after school care, but my son is nonverbal. He can't tell me if something has happened. I have walked in on a few situations that disturbed me in the past. Needless to say, it is hard for me to trust completely when it comes to my son. I do know the path I want to be on. I just need to figure out how to do it and where.
So how would you or have you bettered your life?
would say I have done two major things to better my life:
ReplyDelete1. Completed my education. When I finished my doctorate in '08, my education just felt complete. Not to say I'll never go back to school again... I think it is so important to continue to learn new things :-)
2. Learned to be very outgoing. In high school, I was somewhat shy. I would never approach new people or talk to guys. I guess it was probably in college that I learned to be more outgoing. I think this has gotten me far because I enjoy the energy new people bring to my life.
It is hard to imagine you ever shy Carrie. You are so outgoing. You are one of the people I look at for inspiration. The things you do not only benefit your family, but so many others. You should be proud of youself.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I felt that I was straying off course,I would dig way down deep in my heart and try to decide the steps I needed to take and stay strong enough to get started. Even If I did not accomplish all of the items I felt I needed to do - I was at least a little closer to my goal. Then you have to back off and try again.
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