Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Feeling Anxious..Take a Pill Feeling Stressed...Have a Drink

I have always been a fairly open person.  My motto has always been “I don’t have anything to hide.”  I sometimes wish that I had the perspective  “I may not have anything to hide, but I also don’t have to put all of my business out there.”  Unfortunately, my mouth and typing fingers don’t have a filter and I just can’t stop putting it out there for the world to see.

My discovery of anxiety occurred in November.  I say discovery because I really did not understand what an anxiety attack was until I went through it. I ended up in the emergency room.  I didn’t know what was going on, but I felt like something in me finally snapped. The physical aspect of an anxiety attack is overwhelming.  It’s different for each person.  I felt like I was dropping from a roller coaster and the fall wouldn’t end.  I later developed the quite unusual symptom of feeling like my body was on fire.

I quickly did what I had to do to get myself back on track.  I called a doctor and got put on anxiety meds.  I also started seeing a counselor.  I called my Mom and asked if she could come and help with Josh.  When I call for help it is  major indicator that something is seriously wrong with me.  I never ask for help.  My Mom arrived to help with Josh.  I was fortunate that she was able to come and assist me.  I’m not sure what I would have done if she didn’t come.

The day of my doctor’s appointment finally arrived.  I was so relieved.  Everything went well and as I left with my anxiety medicine prescription  I climbed into my van and nothing.  I turned the key again and silence. I literally sat and hysterically laughed with Jimmy Buffet singing in my head “if we couldn’t laugh we would all be insane.”  Thank God I had my script in hand or my laughter may have lead to mad insanity.  Over the next week I took my van to three mechanics, dropping a few hundred dollars at one of them, only later to find out that my van was going to cost a whole lot of money to fix.  Needless to say two months before my van was paid off we parted ways.

Trying to climb my way back to my own normalcy hasn’t been easy.  I have made a couple of mistakes along the way, but I can assure you I am on my way back up.  I  am a Christian and I know that God has something better in store for me.  He’s just cleaning out all my trash right now.

I hope through my experience you realize that if you are going through something get help.

I waited and I suffered greatly for it.  I didn’t go through all of the details, but I went through hell.  Don’t wait.  If you need help get.  Go to your doctor, a counselor, your minister, somebody just don’t deal with it yourself.  Don’t lose yourself in a spiral of anxiety or depression.  You can live a content and happy life.  Why would you accept sadness.  I started to feel the anxiety again this week and I immediately called my doctor.  Anxiety is mental.  You can overcome it.  I have a child that relies on me he can’t wait for Mommy to feel better. 

Feeling Stressed?  Have a drink.

(Stress and Anxiety are not the same thing)

Meet My Big Ben

We get along just fine.